Regret, Part 6: What Do We Do With Our Regrets? We all have something in the rearview mirror we wish we could take back. A careless word, a bad call, a season we'd rather forget. This week, Pastor Chris turned our series on regret in a new direction. For several weeks we've been learning how to make wiser decisions, because better decisions lead to fewer regrets (not no regrets, just fewer). But we're imperfect people, and we will still get things wrong. So the question for today is a simple one: what do we do with the regrets we already have? Pastor Chris said this is the top thing people come to him for advice about, outside of family communication, and that the truth we're working through will set us free. Regret Can Be a Gift Here's the part that may surprise you. Pastor Chris said the presence of regret isn't always a bad thing. When we follow Jesus, the Holy Spirit redeems our conscience and makes us alert to the difference between right and wrong. In John 16:7-8, Jesus told his disciples it was for their good that he was going away, because he would send the advocate, the Holy Spirit, who would prove the world wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment. That's what conviction is. Guilt, sorrow, sadness, and remorse are different words for how a tender heart feels when it looks back at a poor decision. Pastor Chris gave a plain example. He talks too much, and sometimes he says things he shouldn't. When that happens, he feels bad about hurting someone, and that feeling pushes him to apologize. In that case, regret did its job. Pastor Chris called it a grace from God, a signal that we've made a wrong turn and need to get back on the right path. He also pointed to Galatians 5:16, where Paul tells us to walk by the Spirit so we won't gratify the desires of the flesh. The Way Back So how do we respond when the Spirit nudges us? First John 1:8-10 gives us a clear path: if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Second Corinthians 7:10 draws the line between two kinds of sorrow. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret. Worldly sorrow brings death. Pastor Chris explained that if we ignore the Spirit's voice because it's uncomfortable, the sorrow doesn't disappear. We just lose the chance to have it redeemed. But when we confess and repent, the regret has done its work and it goes away. God doesn't want us wallowing in guilt. He wants us to get right with him and walk on. Conviction Versus Condemnation This is where many of us get stuck. Pastor Chris offered a helpful distinction. Conviction looks back at sin we haven't confessed. Condemnation looks back at sin that's already been forgiven. Scripture calls the enemy the accuser, and Pastor Chris said he doesn't usually bring up our unconfessed sins. Instead, he targets the ones God has already forgiven and forgotten. His message is that you aren't just someone who lied or cheated, you are a liar and a cheater, a disappointment who can't be loved. That's not the voice of the Spirit. Romans 8:1 says, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Pastor Chris reminded us that God has separated confessed sins from us as far as the east is from the west. As Pastor Chris put it, the accuser is asking us to remember something God has already forgotten. So who are we going to listen to? What If You Aren't Sure? Maybe you can't tell whether you've dealt with something. Pastor Chris shared that early in his marriage, he spent an afternoon reading Psalm 139 over and over while working through something from his past. He suggested praying David's words from verses 23 and 24: "Search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Then confess what God shows you, and trust that he forgives. Take the Next Step This week, set aside some quiet time and ask yourself where your regret is coming from. If it's the Spirit's conviction, confess it to God and receive his forgiveness with gratitude. If it's the accuser's condemnation over something already forgiven, name it for what it is and claim the victory we have in Jesus. And if you're not yet a follower of Jesus, the same Spirit may be showing you your need for him. Jesus lived a perfect life, died on the cross, and rose again so we could be forgiven and have new life. Then tell someone. Share this message with a friend who's carrying an old burden, or pray with someone at church. We were never meant to carry guilt that Jesus already took to the cross.
Regret isn't always a bad sign. Pastor Chris explains why some regret is a gift from the Holy Spirit, and how to tell it apart from the guilt the enemy uses to keep us stuck.
Pastor Chris turns from preventing regret to a harder question: what do we do with the regrets we already have? He starts with a surprise. Regret isn't always bad. Pastor Chris says it can be a sign of a healthy conscience, the way the Holy Spirit alerts us when we've crossed the line. He walks through John 16, where Jesus says the Advocate will come, and Matthew 13, where Jesus describes the separating of good fish from bad.
From there, Pastor Chris draws a clear line. Conviction looks back at sin we haven't confessed, and it leads us to confess, repent, and receive forgiveness. Condemnation looks back at sin God has already forgiven. Pastor Chris says that voice is the accuser, who wants us to believe we are our sin. He points to Romans 8:1, 1 John 1:8-10, and 2 Corinthians 7:10 to show that in Christ there's no condemnation. If you aren't sure whether you've confessed something, he suggests praying Psalm 139:23-24 and asking God to search your heart.
Chapters
Scripture
Series: Regret
Speaker: Pastor Chris
Next steps