Regret, Part 5: Who Do We Aim to Please? Every one of us has made a decision we wish we could take back. This week, Pastor Chris wrapped up the regret prevention portion of our series with the fifth and final question to ask before a high-impact decision: Who do we aim to please? It sounds simple, but it may be the question that goes deepest. If we spend our days around people, there's a good chance we're aiming to please them. Pastor Chris showed from Scripture why that path so often ends in regret, and how God frees us from it. **Two Choices, One Master** Pastor Chris reminded us that Jesus said we can't serve two masters. In that passage Jesus was talking about God and money, but Pastor Chris pointed out that the principle holds for anything that competes with God for our allegiance. When we make a decision, there are really two choices: God or people. Pleasing people isn't always bad. We honor our parents, we do good work for our bosses, and we serve our families and our church. The trouble comes when we live for the praise and approval of others. Then even our acts of service end up serving ourselves, because we're chasing a pat on the back. We put what other people want for us ahead of what God wants for us. Pastor Chris said the Bible calls this living in the fear of man instead of the fear of God, and he said it always leads to regret. **What Paul Learned the Hard Way** Pastor Chris took us to the book of Galatians, where Paul spends the first chapter and a half dealing with people pleasing head on. In Galatians 1:10, Paul asks whether he is trying to win the approval of human beings or of God. He says that if he were still trying to please people, he would not be Christ's servant. Notice the word "still." Paul knew this temptation from experience. Looking back at his years of persecuting the church, he saw that he had been aiming for the praise of the people around him, not serving God. Then he met Jesus and was set free. That freedom showed up when a group of Judaizers demanded that Paul's companion Titus be circumcised. Paul wouldn't budge. Pastor Chris pointed out that giving in to people also tells them their will matters more than God's. Paul understood that pleasing them would feed their error and displease God. **Even Peter Gave In** Here's the part that should humble all of us. In Galatians 2:11-14, Paul tells how Peter had been eating with Gentile believers in Antioch. When certain men came from James, Peter pulled back and separated himself, because he was afraid of the circumcision group. Other believers followed his lead, and even Barnabas was led astray. Pastor Chris described it as Peter moving his place card to another table. Peter knew the truth, yet fear of man won out in the moment, and it put the gospel message at risk. Paul called him out in front of everyone. Pastor Chris also pointed to John 12:43, where some leaders believed in Jesus but wouldn't say so, because they "loved human praise more than praise from God." That's the question for every one of us. **Ten Signs of People Pleasing** Pastor Chris gave ten indicators. You may not see all ten in yourself, but a couple is worth a hard look: 1. You struggle to say no. 2. You say yes automatically. 3. You avoid disagreement at almost any cost. 4. You apologize excessively, even for things that aren't your fault. 5. You take responsibility for other people's emotions. 6. You replay conversations, worrying whether you said the right thing. 7. You feel guilty when you set a healthy boundary. 8. You neglect your own convictions. 9. You constantly battle resentment because you feel taken advantage of. 10. You don't know what you want or need, because you're so practiced at meeting everyone else's expectations. **A Better Fear** So what do we do? Pastor Chris gave three steps. First, identify whether we're people pleasers. Second, overcome the fear of man. Quoting Marshall Siegel, he said the antidote isn't fearlessness but a better, more life-giving fear: the fear of God. Psalm 96:9 says, "Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth." In God's presence we find love, and that love gives us courage. Third, resolve to please God and love people. Pastor Chris pointed to 2 Timothy 2:4, where Paul says a soldier tries to please his commanding officer. Pleasing God doesn't mean despising people. In Mark 10:45, Jesus said the Son of Man "did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Pleasing God frees us from needing anyone's praise or fearing their rejection, and it calls us into deeper, more sacrificial love. Sometimes the people we love need the truth, not just our approval. **Take It Home** This week, before your next big decision, stop and ask: Who do we aim to please here? Pastor Chris said the first step in pleasing God is accepting the forgiveness and connection he offers through Jesus, who lived a perfect life, died on the cross, and was raised from the dead. The second step is loving people toward the truth. Which of the ten signs hit closest to home for you? Talk it over with a spouse, a friend, or someone in your small group, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. And if you don't yet know Jesus, we'd love to pray with you.
Peter ate with the Gentiles until a certain group walked in, then he moved tables. Pastor Chris shows from Galatians why people pleasing leads to regret, and who we should be aiming to please instead.
Pastor Chris closes the Regret series with its fifth question to ask before a big decision: who are we aiming to please? He says there are only two choices, God or people, and that a people pleaser lives for the praise and approval of others. The Bible calls that living in the fear of man rather than the fear of God.
Pastor Chris walks through Galatians. Paul says in chapter 1 that he can't be a servant of Christ and still be trying to please people. In chapter 2, Peter pulls away from the Gentile believers when a group from James arrives, and even Barnabas follows him. Paul confronts Peter because the gospel is at stake. Pastor Chris also points to John 12:43, where some leaders loved human praise more than the praise of God.
He then gives ten signs of people pleasing and three steps. First, admit it. Second, replace the fear of man with the fear of God, trembling in awe of his love, mercy, and grace. Third, resolve to please God and love people, which Pastor Chris says sometimes means telling them the truth.
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Series: Regret
Speaker: Pastor Chris
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