Rain never stopped anyone from getting a good word today, and this one's worth every drop. Pastor kicked off the new series "Regret" by pointing at a scene most of us have replayed in our own lives, even if it never made SportsCenter: a coach who calls the wrong play at the worst possible moment. That was the story of Super Bowl 49, the goal-line interception, and the coach who stood at the podium afterward insisting he had "no regrets," even though his face told a different story. A 2004 survey found only 11% of Americans claim to have no regrets, and a follow-up found most of those people weren't being honest. The truth is simpler and a little harder to admit: we all have regrets, and we're probably headed for more. The Side Effects of Every Decision Every decision we make carries the risk of regret, the same way a prescription drug carries a list of side effects. Some choices are low impact, like picking the wrong movie for date night. You'll hear about it, but you'll survive. Others are high impact: career moves, relationships, finances, faith. Those regrets stick because they reshape our lives. The good news is that God offers a defense against them. James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault," and it will be given to you. Wisdom isn't a reward for the spiritually elite; it's a gift for anyone who asks. The Throne of Grace But what about the regrets we already carry? That's where the offense comes in. Hebrews 4:15-16 describes Jesus as a high priest who "is not unable to empathize with our weaknesses," because he was tempted in every way we are, yet without sin. Because of that, we're invited to "approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." A throne reveals what a king values most, and God's throne is a throne of grace. Grace deals with the sin behind our regrets. Mercy deals with the misery that regret leaves behind. Together, they mean we don't have to keep carrying what Jesus already came to lift. The Heart We Can't Trust So why do we keep making decisions we know we'll regret? Because, as the prophet Jeremiah wrote, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Jeremiah watched king after king in Israel ignore wise counsel because their hearts were already set on a bad decision, and the consequences were devastating. Our hearts aren't just dishonest; they're deceitful, mixing truth and half-truth until a bad choice feels reasonable. That's why the question to ask before any high-impact decision isn't "what do I want," but "can I trust what I'm telling me?" Four Steps Toward Wisdom The path forward has four simple steps: admit that your heart can deceive you, get honest about what's really true in the decision ahead of you, stop and pray for wisdom, and ask God to heal the heart itself, because only he can change it. That last part matters most. We can't fix our own hearts. But when we place our faith in Jesus, God turns a heart of stone into a heart of flesh, one that actually desires his glory instead of its own short-term comfort. Whatever regret you're carrying today, whether it's a decision from years ago or one you're circling right now, you don't have to face it alone or pretend it isn't there. Take a minute this week to sit with Jeremiah 17:9 and Hebrews 4:15-16 side by side, and ask God honestly whether you can trust what your own heart has been telling you. If this message meets you where you are, share it with someone who's been quietly carrying their own regret. You might be the reminder they need that grace and mercy are both still available at the throne.
I'm so encouraged that you guys came through the rain today. I'm sure it won't be raining at the picnic. But we're inside anyway, so you guys join us. I want you to picture a scene. I imagine that you can all picture this. A coach stands at a podium after a brutal, heartbreaking, last-minute loss that was due in large part to his poor decision-making. Here's what happened. This time he's running down, running out his team, down by four points, takes possession of the ball, needing to drive the length of the field and score a touchdown. They march down the field, get to the five-yard line with one minute and one second remaining on the clock. On first down, they turn and give the ball to their running back, the best player on the field who bulldozes his way to the one-yard line. On second down, with 26 seconds remaining on the clock, the coach inexplicably calls a pass play, and the ball is intercepted in the end zone, and it was game over. If you're familiar with that scenario, you know that's actually what happened in Super Bowl 49 to the Seattle Seahawks when Tom Brady won his fourth but not his final championship. After the game, what happens? The coach comes to the podium to face the music. It's not the first, but one of the first questions he gets is, hey coach, after running the ball successfully down the field, you clearly have the defense on their heels. Do you regret throwing the slant there at the one-yard line? And you know what's coming, right? Well he's going to defend the play call because that's what you do. It was right for the situation. He's going to say that, you know what, in football players make plays, and the defender made a great play. We have to give him credit. Do I wish it had gone the other way? Of course I do. I hate it for our fans and our players. They're in the locker room hurting right now. But that was the right call in that situation. No regrets. We have a picture from the press conference. That's the coach. Now obviously he has regrets. Right? Everyone would regret that mistake. But I guess not everyone would admit it. I came across a survey from 2004 of 2,000 US Americans that found that it'll, listen, 11% of respondents reported that they have no regrets. A subsequent survey found that only 89% of them were telling the truth. We may not be willing to admit that we have regrets. But they're ubiquitous. We all have regrets. And the great likelihood is we're headed for more. The question is, what in the world do we do about them? What do you do about regrets? When it comes to dealing with them, winning the war with regret, the truth is we have to play both offense and defense. On defense, we work to prevent future regrets. And on offense, we work to overcome the ones we have. Now as it relates to defending against them, we have to begin by recognizing that every decision we make has the potential for regret. Every decision you make has the potential for regret. It is the side effect. Regret is the side effect of poor decision making. You know those commercials, the drug commercials that list all the potential side effects, you know about those? I found a new one this week. It's called Gonna Fix You. And it'll cure what els you, but the potential side effects of Gonna Fix You are irritability, bleeding gums, hearing loss, explosive diarrhea, and on rare occasions, death may occur. And I don't know which of the two are worse. So what happens when your doctor threatens to prescribe Gonna Fix You? You hesitate because that long list of potential side effects is playing in your head. So listen, here's the point. Every time you make a decision, you should hear these words. Potential side effects include regret. Potential side effects include regret. Every, every decision you make could produce regret. Now obviously, some decisions are low impact decisions, right? And the associated regrets would be fleeting. Like when you're scrolling for a movie and you see them all. 45 minutes you're into scrolling and then you pick the worst possible movie you could pick and ruin date night, right? Okay, you regret it for sure, but you'll eventually hear the end of it. So you just move on in the scheme of things. That's not really that big of a deal. It was a low impact decision. It produced regrets, but they were fleeting, so you move on. But other decisions are high impact decisions, and the potential regrets associated with those high impact decisions can be life altering. Those kinds of decisions are career, spiritual, relational, and financial decisions. They all fall into that high impact category. Take a job you hate. Okay, buy a house or a car you can't afford. Marry the wrong person, which I think would be defined as the one who won't let you forget your movie choice. And all of those regrets are going to stick because they come from high impact decisions. So we need to develop a strategy for regret prevention, right? And so defending against potential regrets, what we're trying to do is minimize poor decision making. Now, thankfully for us, God has devised just such a plan. It is the way of wisdom, and it is available to all who seek it. James chapter one, verse five says this, if any of you, all of you, if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault. And what will happen if you ask God for wisdom? It will be given to you. The way of wisdom helps prevent regrets. And God said, I will give you that way. Now, it should not be a surprise to you that our gracious heavenly father wants us to live in the joy of wise decisions. Okay, he is for us, not against us. That's important for you to understand. God is for you, not against you. He wants you to be free of regrets so you can live victoriously for his glory. If we ask for help with those decisions, he will grace us with the wisdom we need to mitigate against debilitating regret. Okay, but that's not all. God not only has a plan to prevent regret, he also has a plan to relieve us when we make those unwise decisions that cause regret. Okay, now I know you guys are probably the 11 percenters having never made a regrettable decision, but for the rest of us who have made at least one and who at one time or another have been living in the rotten fruit of our regrets, the good news is, the gospel news is that there is a way out. God, in his grace, didn't just devise a plan to prevent regrets, he actually made a way to overcome them and even grow through them. Okay, God has a plan for healing from regrets and it is the way of grace. And just like the way of wisdom, the way of grace is available to all of us. If you have your Bibles and want to follow along today, I'm going to be reading from a couple of verses in Hebrews chapter 4. Hebrews is like all the way to the end, the back of the Bible. A few books forward from Revelation. Hebrews chapter 4 shows that God has a way for us, made the way by grace to heal from regrets. Look at verse 15 of Hebrews chapter 4. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses. Now listen, from the Jewish perspective, a priest was the person who mediated between the people and God. Okay, you heard from God and told the people and heard from the people and told God. So we do not have a high priest. The high priest is actually one that made way to God's presence. We do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses. It says, but we have one who has been tempted in every way just as we are yet he did not sin. So who's our high priest? The only person that never sinned, Jesus Christ. Let us then, because we have such a high priest, let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Okay, because Jesus, who is fully God, humbled himself and became one of us, did life in the flesh, which means he was fully man. So Jesus fully man, fully God. But as man, that scripture informs us that he experienced the same kinds of temptations we do. Okay, now he wasn't ever tempted to look at something inappropriate on his phone. Okay, but that kind of temptation is the kind of thing he experienced. Now the unique thing about Jesus is obviously he got it all right. And therefore, guess what? He never experienced the regrets of poor decision making. But because he was fully human, there wasn't one urge, one desire of the heart that we have that he didn't experience. He experienced all the temptations that we do. So what did that do? That gave him empathy for our struggle. He knows how difficult it was. And so with empathy for our struggle, he demonstrates his compassion by inviting us to God's throne for help. He invites us to God's throne of grace so we can receive help. Now here's an important question. I know you know the answer to this, but maybe you haven't thought about it. What is a throne? What does it represent? It is a throne is the essence of the kingdom. It represents the power of the king. And so at a king's throne, what we discover is what is uber important to the king, the most important things. Now God's throne is described as a throne of what? Grace. It's a throne of grace. Remember, God, your creator is for you, not against you. His throne, what's most important to him is grace. So according to this passage of scripture, what we find when we approach God's throne is grace and what we receive there is mercy. Okay? We don't find a king howling mad over the poor decisions we've made. We find Jesus interceding for us and God welcoming us with grace and extending to us mercy. So Jesus invites us to come as we are, regrets and all to God's throne of grace where we find healing. Now there is a difference between grace and mercy. There's a difference between grace and mercy. In grace, God deals with our sin. Okay? He offers us forgiveness for those decisions that caused regret where we fell short of his glory, where we missed the mark. But that's not all. At God's throne of grace, we also experience the power of his mercy. At God's throne of grace, we experience the power of his mercy. Now again, mercy and grace are different. Grace deals with the sins committed when we made poor decisions and by grace, God forgives us and restores us to a right relationship with him so we can enjoy the presence of his spirit moving forward. Mercy on the other hand does not deal with sin. Okay? Grace deals with sin. Mercy does not. Mercy deals with the misery associated with sin. Mercy deals with the misery associated with sin. In mercy, God offers relief from the misery of our regrets. Okay? Through his healing touch, he works all things, including our regrets, together for good, for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. He, God, can redeem your regrets. That's mercy. In other words, God's mercy actually goes on the offensive to provide healing from the regrets we experience when our high-impact decisions miss the mark. The relief we find at God's throne of grace. The mercy we experience dispenses with the shame and the guilt that our enemy uses to immobilize and destabilize us in our pursuit of the life God created us to live. Now listen, it is critical that you understand mercy is what we find at the throne that is the essence of God's power. So many people live in the guilt and shame because of their regrets and they're denying God the privilege of relieving them. They choose to reject or just deny the possibility of the mercy that he makes available on his throne. Listen, Jesus died so you could be forgiven for your sins. He was raised from the dead, went to the right hand of the Father so that the Father would compassionately extend his mercy to you. Your sins are forgiven. You should overcome. You should win against the destabilizing, immobilizing regrets that the enemy has convinced you to hold against yourself. In other words, God's mercy goes on the offensive to provide healing from the regrets we experience when our high-impact decisions miss the mark. Now let me tell you, moving forward, this series is going to be exploring God's game plan for victory over regret. Wisdom before it and healing beyond it. Wisdom before it so that we prevent more regrets and then healing beyond it so we can walk in the victory God has provided for us. Now today we're going to begin on defense. We need to learn to prevent regret by making wise decisions. Okay, now I just need to say this right up front. This may be a little uncomfortable, but we have to acknowledge the truth. And here it is. Every regrettable decision you've ever made, all of them, they all have one thing in common. You know what it is? It's you. It's you. Every regrettable decision I've ever made, I made it. You made the decision. Here's another truth. The odds are extremely high that you had to talk yourself into it. Now why do we do that? Why do we do that? Why do we talk ourselves into something that we almost certainly would try to talk others out of? There's a simple answer for that. And it is that our decisions are heavily influenced by our emotions and our appetites. Our emotions and our appetites. Matter of fact, research suggests that we aren't able to make decisions apart from our emotions. So when it comes to our decisions, there are no emotionally neutral environments. They're all emotionally charged, and some of them are actually hypercharged. So our desires, think appetites, and our emotions, what do they affect? Always they affect our hearts. And I don't know if you have thought about this, but when our hearts are set on something, we can talk ourselves into almost anything. If your heart is convinced this is the way for you to go, you will talk yourself into it. It's much easier for us to know what our spouse or our children or our neighbors should do than what we should do. Why? Because we are much less emotionally involved in their decisions than we are ours. Now, I'm not saying we aren't emotionally involved in the lives of our families, but not as much as we are in our own. So we're much more likely to be able to give someone else good advice than we are to give ourselves good advice. And yet, we're the ones who talk ourselves into all the dumb decisions. Now, it proves to be much easier to lead someone else to see the wise thing to do than the person in the mirror. Since our emotions and appetites have involved our hearts, we prove to be the most difficult person we have to lead. We struggle to lead ourselves to wisdom. Why? Because when your heart is set on something, you can talk yourself into almost anything. From a dessert that ruins your diet to a car that you can't afford. It's easy. So, what do we do to stop ourselves from making regrettable decisions? The way to wisdom is simple. Before you make a decision, you have to stop and ask this question. Can I trust what I'm telling me? Can I trust what I'm telling me? We ask ourselves that kind of question all the time. Can we trust what we're hearing? Okay, when a salesperson is trying to talk us into something, we intuitively ask that question. But for some reason, we don't ask it when we're the ones doing the talking. That's a problem. You know why it's a problem? Because the Bible teaches us that we can't trust ourselves. Now, I know that's counterintuitive, certainly counter-cultural, where we are infallible decision-makers. But here's what God says. No, no, no. You are not an infallible decision-maker. As a matter of fact, your heart will lead you astray every time. You cannot trust what you tell yourself. Now, that message, in case you're doubting me, comes from the prophet Jeremiah. Okay, he was actually known as the weeping prophet, and that's not just because he wrote the book of Lamentations, although he did. But it's really because his assignment from God was so difficult that it reduced him to tears, figuratively. He came along at a time when the nation of Israel was really struggling. Poor leaders, parents who weren't committed to God in his way, they forgot about his word, they did all kinds of crazy stuff. And the kings he worked with who led the people were notoriously poor decision-makers. The Bible says that they consistently did evil in the eyes of the Lord. And so God calls Jeremiah and says, hey, I've got a job for you. I want you to tell them what they don't want to hear. That was his job the whole time. He had to tell people what they didn't want to hear. Now, at the time that Jeremiah came onto the scene, Israel was actually a puppet state of Babylon. In other words, Babylon had essentially conquered Israel, and they sent them a bill every month that they had to send most of their money. Kind of like tax season. They had to send most of their money to Babylon. Okay? Babylon was led at that time by a king whose name you probably know, his name was Nebuchadnezzar. Israel had lost her independence to Babylon precisely because they had lost their way. They were consistently rebelling against God. So at the time Jeremiah started his ministry, the king in charge was a young king named Jehoiakim. And Jehoiakim, he didn't like to be told what to do, whether it was himself or anybody else. Okay? So he didn't like Nebuchadnezzar. He didn't like the arrangement. And he decided that he was going to rebel against Babylon. Well, Jeremiah comes along and says, hey, hey, listen, here's the deal. We're in this mess because this is like God's will for us right now. We messed up. And so we just have to take our medicine. Don't do anything dumb right now. But Jehoiakim would not listen. Despite Jeremiah's warnings, he went out and formed an alliance with Egypt, who was Babylon's arch rival. Okay? Well, it was a really poor decision. But Jehoiakim had his heart set on it. He would not be dissuaded. What happened was Nebuchadnezzar came against him. He laid siege to Jerusalem. He took Jehoiakim to Babylon and blinded him. Okay? He blinded the former king of Israel and then periodically put him on display to show his own power. Okay? So he had kings that he would march out in large groups of people that were blind to say, look how powerful I am. Now, amazingly, after that happened to Jehoiakim, it played out two more times. Jehoiakim, who is Jehoiakim's son, was somehow, Nebuchadnezzar in a moment of, I don't know, allowed Jehoiakim's son to ascend to the throne, but he ended up in Nebuchadnezzar's collection of blind and conquered kings, too. Then his uncle Zedekiah took the throne. All the while, Jeremiah is working with these kings. Zedekiah took the throne in Judah. Now, you would think that two examples would be enough to convince him of what he should and should not do. But just like the kings before him, Zedekiah ignored Jeremiah's advice and took his own, declared independence from Babylon. Predictably, Nebuchadnezzar himself came to take Zedekiah, and he, too, joined the king's collection of blind and conquered monarchs. Now, the question is, why in the world would Zedekiah do that? You wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't do it. Or would we? Well, Jeremiah wondered the same thing. He asked, why in the world do these kings keep doing this? And God answered him. He told him why. It was during this time frame that Jeremiah penned these very familiar words in Jeremiah 17. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? That is the answer to the question. That is why we are so prone to lead ourselves astray. The heart, as in every heart, your heart and my heart, is deceitful above all things. Listen, it's not just dishonest, but deceitful. You know, if your heart was only dishonest, you would be more suspicious of it. We can spot dishonesty. We abhor dishonesty. But our hearts are deceitful, and that's different. Deceitfulness has an agenda. It actually comes to us with a mixture of truths, half-truths, and untruths. Deceit is dangerous because deceit is very difficult to detect. And so when our hearts become set on a decision, informed by our desires and appetites and emotions, our hearts will do anything in their power, including but not limited to deceiving us to convince us of the merit of that decision, to convince us to do exactly what we should not do. But listen, the problem gets worse. Our hearts aren't just deceitful. Jeremiah pointed out that they're actually deceitful beyond cure. In other words, we can't change our hearts. They're never going to stop deceiving us. This is a permanent condition that we cannot outgrow and cannot fix. Left to our own devices, hold that thought. Left to our own devices, our hearts will always actively work to deceive us into making poor decisions. And you know what? If we don't do something about it, we will listen. Now at the end, Jeremiah just throws up his hands in desperation. He's like, who can understand it? Who can figure this out? The answer? No one. No one. We don't understand why our hearts work to cut off our nose despite our face. But they do. And we let them. That's why at some point we will, all of us, say these words. I don't understand why I did that. I don't get it. It seemed to make sense in the moment, but now it makes no sense at all. How did that happen? Our heart deceived us. And we talked ourselves into something that we can't talk ourselves out of. So, if there's no cure, if we don't outgrow the problem, what in the world are we supposed to do? We take the way of wisdom, which involves four steps. First thing we have to do to live in wisdom, prevent regret, is admit this problem. That's harder to do first. So, if we can see that everyone else has the problem, right? Everyone has a heart problem. They're all messed up. But we have to admit that we do. I have to admit that I do. And you have to admit that you do. You have to say to yourself, my heart is naturally deceitful, and I can't trust what it's telling me. Second thing you have to do is commit to discovering what is really true about the decision you face. Am I really being honest with myself? Do I really need this? Can I really afford this? Do I really need to say that? Will this really help me or anybody else? Why do we need to ask those questions? Because our hearts are really good, really natural liars. They deceive us. We have to have the wisdom to really test what they are telling us. Remember, we don't really have to talk ourselves into doing the right thing, the obviously good thing. It's the questionable things that we begin to sell ourselves on. And when that happens, we need to discover what's really true. Third, when we catch ourselves trying to sell ourselves, then we need to stop and pray for wisdom. This is why you should commit James 1.5 to memory. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God that's prayer, who gives generously that's grace to all without finding fault. And it not might be, but from the throne of grace, it will be given to you. Will be. But how many times do we ask for it? Fourth and finally, we need to ask for healing from the only one who can cure our hearts. The heart is deceitfully wicked beyond cure. Who can understand it? It's creator. It's creator. The heart can be healed by the Savior. When we place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ, you know what the Bible tells us? That he turns our deceitful heart of stone into a heart of flesh that beats with a passion for our creator. When God transforms our hearts, we it desires his glory. And listen, as I said, you can't fix your heart. You can't change your heart. Okay, but. God can. Only God can. And when we turn to Jesus and place our faith in him. That is exactly what he does. And when he changes our hearts, he puts us on the road to wisdom. We bow your heads and pray with me. Father, we're so thankful that your word is so faithful in telling us the truth. Not always truth we want to hear. Not always truth we run toward, but truth we need to know. We're grateful, Lord, that you. Have given us a reminder. From your word. That we should be. Careful. In listening to our hearts. Father, I pray that by your spirit, you would lead us. To pursue the way of wisdom so that we can defend against. Those regrets that stick. I pray, Father. That if there's anyone here that doesn't know Jesus, that they'll understand today that the beginning of this journey of wisdom is placing their faith in trust in him. We're thankful that he's the great high priest who made a way to the throne of grace. By his death. In resurrection. We can enter into your presence. So I pray, Father, for those who may not know you that today. They wouldn't listen to their hearts. But they would listen to your spirit. And place their faith and trust in Jesus. You know, if you if you don't have a relationship with God through Jesus, the truth the scripture tells us is that's the only way. That's the way that our heart of stone becomes a heart of flesh. That's the way that we discover the life we were created to live. That is placing our faith in Jesus who by grace deals with our sin and then by mercy. Sets us free from the chains and regrets associated with our sin. That begins with faith in Jesus. Have you placed your faith and dress in. And then for those of us who know him. He invites us. To access his wisdom. Help us prevent all those kinds of regrets that we deal with. Every decision you make has the potential for regret. Every decision you make in God's wisdom has potential for joy. Why do we keep making the ones that bring regret? Robs of some. Let's take the way of wisdom. Let's ask the question. Can I trust what I'm telling? Let's pray and ask God to lead us. Father. Thank you so much for the truth of your word Lord. You leave no stone unturned. In. Helping us find a way to help and healing. To life beyond regret to realizing our potential in you. Thank you Father that you provide the way and ship. May we live in that way for your glory. In the strong name of Jesus I pray. Amen. Now listen if you don't know Jesus and you want to talk to someone about that. The conclusion of the service will have some folks down here that will pray with you after we sing in a moment. And we head off for lunch. If you want to pray about something that a regret or something that is just weighing you down. You come here and we'll pray with you. I'm grateful you joined us. I'm looking forward to having lunch with you. Let's all stand and we'll sing our way out.